LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A woman who is relatively new to the Grand Duchy has found herself “totally perplexed” by a cryptic booklet she mysteriously received in the mail last month. Michelle Hedeman, an Amazon employee who was transferred to Luxembourg in March, says that immediately upon inspecting the 122-page manuscript, she knew it contained secrets. “Page after […]
Party leaders exhausted after spending week removing campaign posters
Respecting a tradition that goes back hundreds of years, the leaders of Luxembourg’s political parties have spent a grueling week driving around the country, climbing ladders, and taking down their campaign posters one by one. “Sure, this isn’t as much fun as meeting world leaders and going to fancy parties, and I do get rather […]
Luxembourg’s political parties give woman free material to build new house
A resourceful Luxembourg resident has built a three-story house using an estimated 16 tons of incomprehensible political material that has arrived in her mailbox since the end of summer. “Pamphlet after pamphlet with names and photos of people I don’t recognize, all of them dressed up,” said Renata Apostu, 29, who has lived and worked […]
Luxembourg procrastinators union urging citizens to vote
Luxembourg’s most influential union of procrastinators is calling for its members to get out and vote in last Sunday’s elections. UPL president Marcel Bruck says that he and other members want the new government to know how sick and tired they are of everyone always telling them what time things start, and that they should […]
Belgium asks Luxembourg to take Wallonia for a few years
BRUSSELS — Saying that its entire southern region is unmotivated and has no idea what it wants to do in life, a flustered Belgium has asked its ex-spouse Luxembourg to take care of Wallonia for a few years. “It’s true, we wanted to have Wallonia live with us after the [19th century] separation, but we […]
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