Saying “grrr,” a mother who moved with her children to Luxembourg a few years ago whose life has been thrown into chaos yet again by a last-minute decision to close schools has taken to Guichet.lu in a desperate attempt to make her voice heard. “I can’t vote, I’ve got no political representation, the government doesn’t […]
Rich and influential country can’t even pull a few strings to get vaccine faster
A wealthy, influential country whose capital is one of the three seats of power in the European Union is unable to pull a few strings to get its residents vaccinated faster, it has been revealed. “We’ve got all this money here in Luxembourg,” said one resident who’s been working at home since November and now […]
The current measures are too strict … I mean, we need stricter measures
I’ve honestly had it up to here with the government. One day we’re the Greater Region’s shining model of sensibility and balance in regards to Covid measures, and the next day Mr. Bettel and his minions slap us with a curfew of 11, and a day later they drop the curfew to nine o’clock. What […]
Government announces plan to announce plan before announcing plan
On Monday, Prime Minister Xavier Bettel and several ministers announced a plan to announce a plan before announcing a plan. “We’re going to say something on Tuesday, and we want to tell you, the public, we are going to say it before we say it,” said a government spokesperson. “That way, you’ll know you’re going […]
Cannibals demand gatherings be limited to 1.5 people
The organization that represents cannibals in the Grand Duchy is speaking out against the government, claiming that it’s “dangerous and irresponsible” to continue allowing gatherings of two or three people. “As we all learned in science class, all you need for virus transmission to occur are two individuals,” said Luxembourg Union of Cannibals president Jean […]
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