LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Emphasizing that her daughter specifically said she’d hang out at the edge of the Kinnekswiss park to be picked up following a climate march on Friday, a Luxembourg mother has been forced to circle the gathering for a fifth time. “Nadia promised she’d be there at 2:45 p.m.,” the mother said, glancing at […]
5 alternatives to forcing restaurants to give free tap water
Increasingly fed up with the widespread practice among restaurants of refusing to serve tap water, some residents are calling for a law that would require it to be offered for free. Is such a law really necessary? Here are five simple alternatives. Bathroom faucet Those calling for free tap water are oblivious to the fact […]
Luxembourg receives state visit from the Burger King
Amid the smell of fryer grease and promises to give free Whoppers to local peasants, Reginald I, King of Burg, arrived in Luxembourg on Monday for a two-day state visit. The Burger King was greeted by Grill Minister Jean Lorentz, who calls the visit “an honor” considering the two nations’ mutual love of grilled […]
Luxembourg chooses unlucky bastard to pay for entire free transport plan
Saying “well, someone has to do it,” Luxembourg officials have announced they have finally decided on a source of funding for the plan to make all public transport in the country free by 2020: local unlucky bastard Pit Dommlinger. “At first we thought about raising taxes and using the revenue to pay for the […]
Luxembourg to legalize marriage between men and their cars
Saying that the state has no right to deny official recognition to men who are in committed relationships with motor-powered, four-wheeled vehicles, Luxembourg has legalized marriage between men and their cars. “The aim of this legislation is not to make some kind of political statement, but rather to recognize the fact that hundreds of thousands […]
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