KIRCHBERG – A visit to a supermarket on Thursday evening turned into a real-life spy movie for an office worker after she spotted her boss in the vegetable section. Compliance officer Mallory Castor, 29, was inspecting cabbages at Auchan when she saw Frank Dubuque, for whom she has worked since 2018. Even though the two […]
‘Desire for emojis’ turns Luxembourg 9-year-old into vicious crime boss
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Using lies, threats, and old-fashioned schoolyard taunts, a local child amassed so many Cactus emojis that she is now considered to be the country’s number one crime boss. Nine-year-old Sophie Goergen became the subject of an investigation earlier this month after reports emerged that she had illicitly obtained hundreds of the tiny figures […]
Judge sentences local hooligan to 8 hours of Christmas shopping at Auchan
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Saying that she was applying the full force of justice, on Tuesday a Luxembourg judge sentenced a local troublemaker to spend an entire day of shopping at Auchan in Kirchberg just before Christmas. “This sentence may seem cruel, but it only matches the wickedness of your misdeeds,” said the presiding judge. The defendant […]
Scary new drug craze: Luxembourg mothers addicted to Cactus candles
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — By day her name was Marie-Antoinette Hoffmann, a part-time language teacher and dedicated mother of three. But by night, she was known as “Mam Bougie” and police say she ran a candle-dealing operation that stretched from Clervaux all the way to Differdange. For readers who are unaware of the dangerous new trend, […]
Slavery in Luxembourg: gas station cashiers forced to offer discounted sweets to every customer
Authorities in the Grand Duchy are investigating several cases of slavery after dozens of residents reported that gas station cashiers appear to be forced to offer promotional chocolate items to every customer. “One week it’s two-for-one Kinder Bueno, and the next it’s 30 percent off a pack of king-sized Twix bars, but the routine never […]
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