A woman who invariably blames traffic for being late to work every day is still using the excuse, even now that she’s working from home. On Monday morning, the project manager was 10 minutes late for a budget review meeting on Webex, forcing the other participants to endure small talk about weather, humidity, and mold […]
Pervert imagines what women look like under their masks
A pervert who travels around Luxembourg on public transport has allegedly been staring at the bottom half of women’s faces in a sick attempt to imagine what they look like under their masks. “That bastard was staring at my cheeks the whole bus ride,” said Ruby Polimer, who fell victim to the man’s lecherous gaze […]
Engineers figure out they can just put car wheels on tram instead
Saying “oops, pardon us,” Luxembourg City officials have admitted there’s no need to build expensive tram tracks when they can simply fit each tram with everyday car wheels. The “Lëtz Switch” plan is expected to save the city a hundred million euros and several more years of construction. “It might seem like we were acting […]
Frustrated resident of capital remembers when 12-minute commute was only 9 minutes
A resident of Luxembourg City has announced that he can no longer stand the endless roadworks and traffic congestion that have turned his once enjoyable nine-minute commute into a 12-minute nightmare. “It’s bullshit,” said Bartholomew Franzko, a 44-year-old law partner who lives in Cents and works in Kirchberg. “Driving to work used to be pleasant, […]
Luxembourg’s douchiest car owners to get special plates with only 3 digits
In a move that will delight Luxembourg’s most obnoxious car owners, the SNCA has announced it will begin offering license plates with only three digits. “We already have number plates with just four digits, and these are highly prized by those men who wash their cars every Sunday and get offended when someone doesn’t compliment […]
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