A wealthy expat from Luxembourg City who visited a store on the outskirts of Trier has described the experience as “a nightmare” and says she feared she might not live to tell the story. Jeanna Klebertz made the 40-minute journey to Germany to visit a shop that specializes in wood furniture as part of a […]
Archives for July 2020
New campaign to warn newcomers that everyone here knows each other, so watch out
The Ministry of Useful Information has launched a new campaign to warn newcomers about the risks of assuming that you can do as you want in a place with a national population as big as a medium-sized city in other countries. “Welcome to Luxembourg,” said Minister Marie-Claude Valenti in a press conference on Monday. “We’re […]
Satan takes back Irrgarten roundabout
Saying the diabolical traffic knot is too evil to be wasted on living souls anyway, the guardian of the underworld known as Satan has reclaimed the old Irrgarten roundabout. The roundabout was created millenia ago by a cadre of demon road engineers whose goal was to torture carriage drivers condemned to Hell, but it was […]
Virus wonders if host trying to get it drunk
A COVID-19 virus particle hanging out on a Rollingen woman’s left hand has expressed concerns that she’s trying to get it drunk. “Another round already?” the virus said after Bettina Mueller covered her hands in sanitizer for the third time in an hour on Wednesday afternoon. “Probably not a good idea, lady.” “But okay,” it […]
Luxembourg man develops terrible cough, immediately goes to gym
A Luxembourg City man who developed a terrible cough on Tuesday acted quickly by rushing to a packed gym. Claude Grover, who works for a local architecture firm, says that going to a warm, stuffy space with 100 people exerting themselves and gasping for air is just the thing to treat whatever he’s got. “Germs […]