Does your woman love green tea hand sanitizer but fears she won’t be able to get any now that shoppers have begun hoarding again? Give her an amazing orgasm by telling her that Auchan still has some in stock. Don’t rush When it comes to getting her aroused about her favorite antibacterial goo that kills […]
Scientists: second wave of COVID memes will be ‘much worse’
Scientists from the University of Wiltz have issued a dire warning that the second wave of COVID-19 memes will almost certainly be much worse than the first. “What we saw from March through early summer was a proliferation of coronavirus-themed memes that actually sucked and got really old, really fast,” said Dr. Rufus Bard, who […]
Engineers figure out they can just put car wheels on tram instead
Saying “oops, pardon us,” Luxembourg City officials have admitted there’s no need to build expensive tram tracks when they can simply fit each tram with everyday car wheels. The “Lëtz Switch” plan is expected to save the city a hundred million euros and several more years of construction. “It might seem like we were acting […]
Frustrated resident of capital remembers when 12-minute commute was only 9 minutes
A resident of Luxembourg City has announced that he can no longer stand the endless roadworks and traffic congestion that have turned his once enjoyable nine-minute commute into a 12-minute nightmare. “It’s bullshit,” said Bartholomew Franzko, a 44-year-old law partner who lives in Cents and works in Kirchberg. “Driving to work used to be pleasant, […]
Why Luxembourg companies don’t respond to your f***ing emails
Estate agents, potential employers, insurance companies, service providers, even drug dealers: these are just some of the professionals in Luxembourg who simply cannot be bothered to respond to your f***ing emails. Why is this attitude so prevalent? We interviewed a manager from deep within the corporate world to find out. So, what do you think […]
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