Featured Article Archives – Page 82 of 180 – Luxembourg Wurst

Report: Luxembourg doesn’t care who wins as long as it’s not Germany, France, Belgium, Portugal, Italy

When asked which team it supports in the Euro 2020 championship, Luxembourg has said it doesn’t really care who wins as long as it’s not France, Germany, Belgium, Portugal, or Italy. “Technically, we’re supposed to support Germany because we share the family name Schmidt as well as a profound love of grilled sausages,” said Luxembourg. […]

Nobody came to his birthday party, so a bunch of firemen showed up and told him to stop acting like an asshole all the time

When a seven-year-old boy in Capellen invited his classmates to his birthday party but none showed up, a group of helpful firemen stepped in to explain to the boy that he’s a little asshole and that’s why no one came. Massimo Bucci had been looking forward to last weekend’s party for weeks, says his mother […]

How to afford a home in Luxembourg: 5 simple strategies

The Wurst’s in-house financial advisor Rupert Goldbumm says that while many people earning an average or below-average salary in Luxembourg fear they’ll never be able to afford a home, if you act prudently and follow some simple strategies, you too can become a homeowner. Scratch your way in Winning the top prize of a lottery […]

Mosquito, caterpillar, mite agree to divide up last unbitten, unstung patch of skin

In what’s being called the Berlin Conference but for bugs, arachnids, and other critters, three superpowers in the world of skin irritation have forged a historic agreement on how to fairly divide a recently discovered clear patch of human epidermis. The clear patch of skin, a rare find during a period of mass skin irritation […]

Mother wondering if it’s reasonable to already be going to gangbangs again

A Luxembourg mother who attended a gangbang with her husband on Wednesday night has expressed concern by what she says is a reckless return to group sex gatherings. “Looking at all these maskless people with their naked bodies and sweaty limbs intertwined in all sorts of positions, I wonder if we’re all jumping back into […]