Following a snub in which high-profile Euro 2020 players moved strategically placed sponsored products during a press conference, the aggrieved companies have announced they are plotting revenge. “Cute stunt Ronaldo, but we’ve got you and your little sports league right by the contract,” said Coca-Cola spokesperson Jacqueline Brand. “If you don’t want to face serious […]
Expat angrily recounts to expat group mildly annoying thing that happened to her
An expat who suffered from mild frustration at a Luxembourg City store has angrily recounted her experience to her online expat support group. The non-incident occurred on Monday at an appliance store when an employee claimed that a particular washing machine was no longer in stock even though a model was still on display. When […]
Bettel to wear anti-slap scarf
Following an incident in which a member of the public slapped the French president, Luxembourg’s prime minister will now wear a defensive anti-slap scarf. “This baby might look like an everyday neck adornment, but trust me, it’s fitted with the latest in anti-slapping technology,” said defensive scarf salesman Gus Burlee. “Prime Minister Xavier Bettel will […]
Shoulder touch at party leads to orgy of hand shaking and cheek kissing
What started as a friendly touch on the shoulder by a guest at an outdoor gathering turned into a bacchanalian orgy of uninhibited physical contact that had not been seen since earlier, pre-Covid times. The outburst occurred at a park just south of Luxembourg City on Saturday when one last of the approximately 25 guests […]
Woman worried people will notice she’s aged 18 months in last 18 months
A Luxembourg woman who has not taken off her mask at work since the start of the pandemic early last year is now grappling with the fear that when she does remove it, her coworkers will see that she’s aged 18 months in the last 18 months. “Just look at my mouth,” said the 44-year-old […]
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