Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Exhausted parents demand immediate end to summer holidays

LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Chanting “eight weeks of summer holidays is seven weeks too long,” hundreds of local parents took to the streets on Wednesday to demand that schools immediately reopen and “take back these sticky-faced parasites before we all go insane.” Bettembourg father Dag Linwood, 39, says he’s gone through a whole summer’s worth of activities […]

5 alternatives to forcing restaurants to give free tap water

Increasingly fed up with the widespread practice among restaurants of refusing to serve tap water, some residents are calling for a law that would require it to be offered for free. Is such a law really necessary? Here are five simple alternatives.  Bathroom faucet Those calling for free tap water are oblivious to the fact […]

Oops: Grand Duke realizes they forgot to give him last name

A routine visit from the national statistics agency STATEC to Berg Castle this week has left Luxembourg’s Grand Duke Henri embarrassed after the monarch realized that he doesn’t have a last name. “Just to verify, your first name is Grand, your middle name is Duke, and your family name is Henri?” the young interviewer asked […]

Luxembourg receives state visit from the Burger King

  Amid the smell of fryer grease and promises to give free Whoppers to local peasants, Reginald I, King of Burg, arrived in Luxembourg on Monday for a two-day state visit. The Burger King was greeted by Grill Minister Jean Lorentz, who calls the visit “an honor” considering the two nations’ mutual love of grilled […]