Life is great! Have you ever woken up, looked outside and noticed that your car was stolen, your neighbor’s dog is pissing in your garden, and that the sky is grey, but still said to yourself: life is great! I know, I know. It’s the end of the summer and we’re supposed to be feeling […]
We’re insane, admit Luxembourg wasps
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — In response to growing speculation why they are being so aggressive these days, Luxembourg wasps have admitted they are, in fact, going insane. Carole Harespel, a two-week-old worker and spokesvespid for nest LV/2018-83N, located above a residential garage in the capital, warns that she and her fellow wasps will only become more deranged […]
New Schueberfouer-scented perfume released
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A local perfumer has created a new fragrance in honor of the Schueberfouer, Luxembourg’s annual funfair held in the Glacis. “Everyone loves the Schueberfouer — the attractions for kids that only cost five euros for a two-minute ride, the ring toss game that nobody ever seems to win, and the wide array of […]
Luxembourg doctor breaks world record for number of patients seen in hour
A Luxembourg ear, nose, and throat specialist has garnered worldwide fame and admiration from colleagues after having broken the world record for the greatest number of patients seen in under an hour. Last Friday between the hours of 3 and 4 p.m., Dr. Marc Lautner examined 193 patients, none of whom were aware they were […]
Woman can’t wait to go on vacation and spend a little time catching up on work emails
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Saying that nothing will be more relaxing than sorting out and prioritizing the 12,403 emails that have filled her inbox during the last couple months, a Luxembourg department head is looking forward to spending her upcoming vacation sitting on a quiet beach with her family and staring at her tablet all day. “The […]
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