LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Denying all claims that he has a crush on the reigning monarch, a newsagent in the city center nevertheless has shown an unusual fondness for displaying in his shop portraits of Grand Duke Henri. “I only put them there for my customers, many of whom are Luxembourgish and like that sort of respectful […]
Commuters infuriated by woman in bright colors
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Commuters heading into the capital city on Monday were filled with rage after seeing a woman dressed in bright colors, according to several choleric witnesses. At least six train passengers glared at the woman and wished “serious bodily harm” upon her. A further 10 passengers crossed their fingers in hopes that someone would […]
Archeologists: current Luxembourg roadworks actually started 6000 years ago
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Archaeologists working in the capital have uncovered artefacts that suggest many of the city’s most aggravating road construction projects currently underway have been going on since the end of the Neolithic Era. Among the artefacts found in a dig near the Bierger-Center — just one of a dozen sites currently being excavated — […]
‘I love the diversity of Luxembourg,’ says expat who only socializes with own socio-ethno-linguistic group
A woman who only socializes with people who strongly resemble her in looks, language, and income has announced that she loves the diversity of Luxembourg. “There are so many nationalities represented here, it’s a veritable cornucopia of cultures,” she said. “And you can really enjoy them from a safe distance, like, through the tinted windows […]
Scary new drug craze: Luxembourg mothers addicted to Cactus candles
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — By day her name was Marie-Antoinette Hoffmann, a part-time language teacher and dedicated mother of three. But by night, she was known as “Mam Bougie” and police say she ran a candle-dealing operation that stretched from Clervaux all the way to Differdange. For readers who are unaware of the dangerous new trend, […]