A routine visit to a Luxembourg dentist ended with the firm recommendation that you undergo some work, including the replacement of all of your teeth, your entire jaw, and your skull. “If you don’t do it now, you’ll just end up doing it later when it will be more painful and expensive,” the dentist said. […]
It happened to me: I farted loudly on the tram and no one cared
It was one of those mornings when you wake up with the stomach grumbles, and your mind races to find the cause. That’s it. That spicy red sauce I slathered over the chicken had come back to haunt me. Either that or the bean soup. Or the raw sauerkraut. I told myself to ignore it, […]
Mosquito, caterpillar, mite agree to divide up last unbitten, unstung patch of skin
In what’s being called the Berlin Conference but for bugs, arachnids, and other critters, three superpowers in the world of skin irritation have forged a historic agreement on how to fairly divide a recently discovered clear patch of human epidermis. The clear patch of skin, a rare find during a period of mass skin irritation […]
Massive dihydrogen monoxide leak at Cattenom nuclear plant
A massive cloud of dihydrogen monoxide was observed leaking from the Cattenom nuclear power plant on Thursday morning, according to reports. Although dihydrogen monoxide is naturally occurring and can even be found in lakes and rivers, as little as a few liters can prove to be deadly. Historians believe the chemical compound caused the deaths […]
New gun capable of vaccinating 500 people per minute
Citing the need to reopen society as soon as possible before we all lose our minds, an engineer from Luxembourg has developed a vaccination gun capable of delivering 500 shots per minute. “I read that it might take months to get most of Luxembourg vaccinated,” said Jean Wayne, creator of the Vaccinator 2400. “That’s not […]
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