NEW YORK — Describing the driving situation in Luxembourg City as “so bad that even the leather-clad masochists who used to flock there just to get stuck in traffic are running away,” the United Nations has announced it will be taking over the reconstruction of the city’s streets. Operation UNMILV calls for hundreds of peacekeeping […]
Civil servant able to communicate using only half-dead look in eyes
DINGLEDANGE — Residents of this rural commune have been flocking to see a local state employee who has a rare talent: he can communicate using nothing more than a half-dead look in his eyes. “He doesn’t use words, not in the traditional sense,” says longtime resident Pol Toumblé, who estimates he’s interacted with civil servant […]
Bettel to take empty podium on 28-nation world tour
In a move that will delight his supporters, Luxembourg prime minister Xavier Bettel has announced he’s going on a 28-nation world tour, and joining him will be the very podium that earned him so much international attention earlier this week. The podium, 130 centimetres in height and made from locally sourced wood, catapulted Bettel to […]
Luxembourg mother forced to circle climate march 5 times before finding kid
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Emphasizing that her daughter specifically said she’d hang out at the edge of the Kinnekswiss park to be picked up following a climate march on Friday, a Luxembourg mother has been forced to circle the gathering for a fifth time. “Nadia promised she’d be there at 2:45 p.m.,” the mother said, glancing at […]
5 alternatives to forcing restaurants to give free tap water
Increasingly fed up with the widespread practice among restaurants of refusing to serve tap water, some residents are calling for a law that would require it to be offered for free. Is such a law really necessary? Here are five simple alternatives. Bathroom faucet Those calling for free tap water are oblivious to the fact […]
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