Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Oops: malfunctioning indexation mechanism gives Luxembourg workers raise of 23,456 percent

LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Saying “whoa, hey, somebody stop that thing,” Luxembourg government officials stood by helplessly as the mechanism that was developed to automate salary indexation malfunctioned, giving everyone a pay increase of 23,456 percent.  The red-faced officials admitted that although the increase was enormous and would likely bankrupt every employer, there was nothing they could […]

Man crawls across Luxembourg City to raise awareness for dangers of after-work drinks

LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Repeatedly saying “ugh” and cursing at everyone who offered to help him, a man has crawled all the way through the capital as part of a one-man campaign to raise awareness for the dangers of after-work drinks.  “Two-for-one cocktails, oh, uh, not my fault, barman made ‘em strong, too strong,” said Bereldange resident […]

Young colleague who partied non-stop all summer cannot work due to sniffle

A young, healthy colleague who’s known around the office as a 24/7 party boy and who boasted of completing “the world’s most epic non-stop drinking session” this summer has been tragically struck down by a minor sniffle only a week after returning to work.   Chase Goblenz, 27, chronicled on Instagram the summer’s feats, which included […]

Man survives 46-second walk from air-conditioned car to air-conditioned office

CLOCHE D’OR — A man being called “the Bear Grylls of Luxembourg’s dedicated car-driving community” has survived a harrowing 46 seconds outside in extreme heat while he trekked from his car to his office. On Wednesday, Jacques Becker, a 36-year-old senior lawyer from Wormeldange, was thrust into the life-or-death situation after discovering that someone had […]