An expat couple who moved from Luxembourg to Thionville in search of cheaper housing have been unable to persuade anyone to visit them, according to friends who are regularly badgered to make the arduous journey. “Thionville is quite close, literally 30 kilometers away,” Phil Kulik told friends during a night out in Clausen last weekend. […]
Archives for November 2017
Luxembourg newsagent clearly has crush on Grand Duke
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Denying all claims that he has a crush on the reigning monarch, a newsagent in the city center nevertheless has shown an unusual fondness for displaying in his shop portraits of Grand Duke Henri. “I only put them there for my customers, many of whom are Luxembourgish and like that sort of respectful […]
Merl resident ordered to sit down after non-consensual leg-humping
MERL — A well-known resident of this quiet neighborhood has been ordered to “sit down and stay” after reports that he humped the leg of a total stranger. This is the first time that Ajax, a five-year-old labrador mix who has lived in Merl since birth, has been accused of being a bad dog. “I […]
Commuters infuriated by woman in bright colors
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Commuters heading into the capital city on Monday were filled with rage after seeing a woman dressed in bright colors, according to several choleric witnesses. At least six train passengers glared at the woman and wished “serious bodily harm” upon her. A further 10 passengers crossed their fingers in hopes that someone would […]
North Korea bars visitors from own stand at Bazar International
For the 27th year in a row, delegates from the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea are not allowing visitors to enter or exit their stand at this weekend’s Bazar International in Luxembourg. “We thank the capitalist exploiters of Luxembourg for again inviting the glorious DPRK to participate in this celebration-feast to honor the Western vices […]
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