Insisting that a powerful trading bloc such as the EU deserves to be treated much better, European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen has given AstraZeneca a one-star review on Amazon. “We ordered 300 million doses of this company’s COVID vaccine with the understanding we would have a certain number by now,” she wrote in […]
Opinion: it’s time to recruit drug dealers to get the vaccine for us
While it’s easy to criticize the Luxembourg government for the snail-like vaccine rollout, it’s clear that neither Prime Minister Xavier Bettel nor Minister of Health Paulette Lenert are fully responsible. Governments across the EU are grappling with similar shortages. There is simply not enough supply to go around, and we’re now witnessing a massive blame […]
Rich and influential country can’t even pull a few strings to get vaccine faster
A wealthy, influential country whose capital is one of the three seats of power in the European Union is unable to pull a few strings to get its residents vaccinated faster, it has been revealed. “We’ve got all this money here in Luxembourg,” said one resident who’s been working at home since November and now […]
Great news: gym has slot open next Thursday from 6:15 to 6:45 am
A Luxembourg man has raised his arms and sung hymns of praise after successfully booking an early morning half-hour slot at his fitness center next week. “I heard that my gym was open again, but not from them because apparently they yet haven’t yet mastered the difficult art of website and social media updates,” said […]
Dudelange hipster making own vaccine
Describing corporate vaccines as “a dull assemblage of mass-tested mRNA that show no imagination or nuance,” a hipster from Dudelange has announced he is making his own vaccine. “Big Pharma vaccines are all the same,” said Michel Paracetti, who in the past experimented with brewing his own beer, designing t-shirts with ironic messages, and raising […]
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