Several individual variants of the so-called UK coronavirus strain that have been identified in Luxembourg in recent days have already taken steps to obtain Luxembourgish nationality, according to the viruses themselves. All of the mutated viruses have already signed up for online Luxembourgish courses, and they’ve also begun seeking advice and tips in expat forums. […]
It couldn’t wait till Monday: fairy godmother appears and fixes Luxembourg woman’s grey roots
A Luxembourg woman who fell into a pit of despair after closely examining her grey roots was miraculously saved when her fairy godmother appeared with a hair dye kit. The woman, a 29-year-old resident of Ettelbruck, has been carefully counting the days until hair salons are allowed to reopen next week. However, she had an […]
The current measures are too strict … I mean, we need stricter measures
I’ve honestly had it up to here with the government. One day we’re the Greater Region’s shining model of sensibility and balance in regards to Covid measures, and the next day Mr. Bettel and his minions slap us with a curfew of 11, and a day later they drop the curfew to nine o’clock. What […]
Government announces plan to announce plan before announcing plan
On Monday, Prime Minister Xavier Bettel and several ministers announced a plan to announce a plan before announcing a plan. “We’re going to say something on Tuesday, and we want to tell you, the public, we are going to say it before we say it,” said a government spokesperson. “That way, you’ll know you’re going […]
New gun capable of vaccinating 500 people per minute
Citing the need to reopen society as soon as possible before we all lose our minds, an engineer from Luxembourg has developed a vaccination gun capable of delivering 500 shots per minute. “I read that it might take months to get most of Luxembourg vaccinated,” said Jean Wayne, creator of the Vaccinator 2400. “That’s not […]
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