GASPERICH — Panic filled Luxembourg’s motorways on Wednesday night when a reckless sober driver reportedly obeyed the speed limit, forcing other motorists to slam on their brakes and be confined to a lane. According to sources, the sober driver had attended a birthday party in the center, and rather than drink enough alcohol to diminish […]
Civil servant able to communicate using only half-dead look in eyes
DINGLEDANGE — Residents of this rural commune have been flocking to see a local state employee who has a rare talent: he can communicate using nothing more than a half-dead look in his eyes. “He doesn’t use words, not in the traditional sense,” says longtime resident Pol Toumblé, who estimates he’s interacted with civil servant […]
Father tells scary story about time he went to Gare after dark
Admitting later that perhaps they’re too young to hear about such horrors, a local father has recounted to his children the spookiest bedtime story they’ve ever heard: about the time he found himself near the Gare after dark. “So kids, I was new to Luxembourg, and I was supposed to meet some colleagues for dinner […]
Monolingual Luxembourger discovered
A woman believed to be the only Luxembourger who speaks just one language has been found in the north of the country where she claims to have spent the last 80 years living in a cave. The party of hikers who found the woman on Sunday say she didn’t understand when they addressed her in […]
Don’t try to make sense of ‘vsco girl’ trend, Luxembourg parents told
A local mental health expert has issued a warning to parents against trying to understand what a so-called ‘vsco girl’ is. “Is it a real trend, an ironic trend, or an anti-trend?” said Dr. Frederic Hoffman. “There’s no way of knowing, so don’t waste your precious brain juice on it.” When asked to give her […]
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