Amid shouts of “c’est très good” and “at longue last,” Franglais has become the 24th official language of the European Union. Franglais, a blend of French and English, has been spoken for centuries by the upper echelons of both francophone and anglophone societies, usually by those wishing to seem educated and worldly even as they’re […]
Mattel to release Luxembourg Expat Barbie
Following up on a promise to create more dolls tailored for specific global markets, the American toy manufacturer Mattel has announced plans to release a new Barbie inspired by Luxembourg’s many wealthy expats. Luxembourg Expat Barbie will come with a dozen designer outfits, all with labels found on the Grand-Rue. While some of the outfits […]
Exhausted parents demand immediate end to summer holidays
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Chanting “eight weeks of summer holidays is seven weeks too long,” hundreds of local parents took to the streets on Wednesday to demand that schools immediately reopen and “take back these sticky-faced parasites before we all go insane.” Bettembourg father Dag Linwood, 39, says he’s gone through a whole summer’s worth of activities […]
5 alternatives to forcing restaurants to give free tap water
Increasingly fed up with the widespread practice among restaurants of refusing to serve tap water, some residents are calling for a law that would require it to be offered for free. Is such a law really necessary? Here are five simple alternatives. Bathroom faucet Those calling for free tap water are oblivious to the fact […]
Twisted freak prefers water to alcohol during meals
In a case experts say “is proof that sometimes nature creates humans so bizarre that we may never understand their motives,” a Luxembourg man has stated a preference for drinking water during meals. Stefan Altergott, 36, publicly declared his weird proclivity during a night out with friends in Clausen last weekend. According to witnesses, when […]
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