Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Historic first: neighbor waves

ONFRENDLECHDANGE — A neighbor who for 10 years has resisted all attempts to get pulled into a friendly exchange has finally given in, say sources.  On Tuesday, a man who lives across the street from the ill-natured woman, believed to be in her 60s, confirmed that he was the recipient of an enthusiastic greeting. “There […]

Luxembourg receives state visit from the Burger King

  Amid the smell of fryer grease and promises to give free Whoppers to local peasants, Reginald I, King of Burg, arrived in Luxembourg on Monday for a two-day state visit. The Burger King was greeted by Grill Minister Jean Lorentz, who calls the visit “an honor” considering the two nations’ mutual love of grilled […]

Man survives 46-second walk from air-conditioned car to air-conditioned office

CLOCHE D’OR — A man being called “the Bear Grylls of Luxembourg’s dedicated car-driving community” has survived a harrowing 46 seconds outside in extreme heat while he trekked from his car to his office. On Wednesday, Jacques Becker, a 36-year-old senior lawyer from Wormeldange, was thrust into the life-or-death situation after discovering that someone had […]

Report: probably snowing in Wiltz

As proof that the town is located in the far, far north, there is a “very high probability” that Wiltz is being blanketed with snow, according to a local meteorologist.  “I haven’t received quantitative data confirming my suspicions, but I would bet 750 old Luxembourgish francs that while here in the capital we deal with […]