Two grandparents from Mamer have announced plans to start their weekly Saturday morning shopping trip by getting a little drunk at the cafe of their preferred commercial center in Bertrange. The first step of the plan is to find a table near the entrance, one that will give them a good view of everyone entering, […]
GuttFellas, possibly coming to a cinema near you
A young international school student, Hendrick Hill, starts running errands for the local Luxembougish mafia, D’Famill, a group of wealthy property owners who actually don’t engage in much crime or violence apart from taking a really (really!) long time to give back rental deposits and driving their Porsches while totally drunk. Even though Hendrick is […]
Western porn star pulls out of Russian
Saying that he cannot wait any longer, European adult film star Rocco Wilder has announced that effective immediately, he is going to pull out of his Russian co-star. “Is that okay with you?” he said to director Frank D’Amore. “Me and Valeriya, we’ve been going at it for 22 minutes straight.” After getting approval, Wilder […]
Number of greeting kisses raised from 3 to 33
In an effort to reinforce a key Luxembourgish social custom, the government has announced that effective immediately, the official number of greeting kisses will be raised to 33. For decades, the number of typical greeting kisses stood at three. However, this was reduced to zero in early 2020 as kisses were replaced by first-bumps, monk-like […]
Charity to send Vuitton bags to rich women trapped in Russia
The Luxembourg-based organization Wealthy Without Borders is collecting Louis Vuitton bags to be sent to rich women in Russia who are trapped without access to basic luxury goods, the group says. Association president Olesya Kuznetsova urges well-to-do people from all backgrounds to think about their peers in Russia who are now suffering. “Right now, there […]
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