A Luxembourg resident who spent 20 minutes looking for a “decent but affordable” bottle of wine on Monday settled on one he determined was of superior quality due to an illustration of a castle on the label. “Anytime you see a castle or the word ‘château,’ you know it’s got to be good,” the man […]
Lazy shopkeeper only now putting out Christmas stuff
A woman who runs a gift shop in the centre of Luxembourg City has admitted to “extreme laziness” and “insensitivity to customers who love holiday-themed junk” as the reason why she’s only now putting out her annual Christmas display. Sources indicate that the shopkeeper only started lighting Christmas-scented candles in the beginning of November, and […]
6 Luxembourgish place names that sound like sex acts*
Péiteng If you and your partner engage in this, make sure to bring a raincoat and an umbrella. Dikrech While this might sound like kinky fun, it usually results in an emergency visit to the urologist. Suessem Usually requires at least one participant to make noises suggestive of a vacuum cleaner. Rëmeleng Highly inadvisable, especially […]
Man crawls across Luxembourg City to raise awareness for dangers of after-work drinks
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Repeatedly saying “ugh” and cursing at everyone who offered to help him, a man has crawled all the way through the capital as part of a one-man campaign to raise awareness for the dangers of after-work drinks. “Two-for-one cocktails, oh, uh, not my fault, barman made ‘em strong, too strong,” said Bereldange resident […]
Man in Luxembourg locker room casually blow dries his balls
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Members of a popular fitness club were given an unwanted show in the changing room on Saturday when a man who had taken a shower openly blow dried his testicles. The act was performed while the man chatted with two other gym-goers, both of whom seemed unsurprised when the man dropped his towel, […]
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