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Knock A Shining Dog

‘One month equals 46,080 minutes,’ demonic child informs mother

April 15, 2020

Luxembourg child school

A child from Beggen who is clearly driven by evil and a desire to inflict pain on innocent people casually informed his mother on Wednesday evening that one month equals 46,080 minutes.  The vile calculation came just moments after Betina Moltze, 36, told her son Viktor that the Ministry of Education had announced that schools […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Education, Featured Article, Parenting

5 movies to help parents cope during coronavirus

March 20, 2020

Pandemic movies for parents

If you’re a parent and you feel like this whole pandemic lockdown situation is more than you can handle, check out these five movies to give yourself a well-deserved boost.  Alive This 1993 movie depicts a rugby team’s struggle to survive after their plane crashes in the snowy Andes, forcing them to resort to cannibalism. […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle, Parenting

Don’t be afraid of the virus. Mommy has built us a fortress of toilet paper.

March 7, 2020

Coronavirus toilet paper fortress mommy

Kids, I want to talk to you about the virus that’s going around. I know you’ve learned about it in school, and you’ve probably heard things from other children. It’s true that we can’t protect ourselves from everything, but we can prepare ourselves for the worst.  The moment I learned that the coronavirus was headed […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Health, Opinion, Parenting

Mother hits up drug dealers in search for hand sanitizer

March 4, 2020

Hand sanitizer in Luxembourg mother

A very flustered Luxembourg mother who visited 23 pharmacies and supermarkets in search of hand sanitizer made a last-ditch effort in the capital on Wednesday night, asking a group of drug dealers if they could hook her up. The mother, 39, cruised around the Gare’s side streets for more than an hour before she happened […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Expats, Featured Article, Health, Parenting

Impressive: working mother fits in full hour of depression before work

December 9, 2019

Impressive: working mother gets in 1 hour of strenuous depression before work

MERSCH – A mother of two who holds a demanding job is proving that working mothers can do it all — by waking up early each morning in order to complete a full hour of serious depression before the day begins.  “I don’t even have to set my alarm,” said Valerie Tisdel, 41, in the […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Health, Leisure and Lifestyle, Parenting

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