A nine-year-old from Bridel who is going trick-or-treating with a group of friends on Halloween has admitted to harboring wild fantasies about getting actual candy this year. “How cool would that be if someone gave me a Snickers bar or a piece of gum,” said the boy. While wearing a zombie costume last year, he […]
Father tells scary story about time he went to Gare after dark
Admitting later that perhaps they’re too young to hear about such horrors, a local father has recounted to his children the spookiest bedtime story they’ve ever heard: about the time he found himself near the Gare after dark. “So kids, I was new to Luxembourg, and I was supposed to meet some colleagues for dinner […]
Don’t try to make sense of ‘vsco girl’ trend, Luxembourg parents told
A local mental health expert has issued a warning to parents against trying to understand what a so-called ‘vsco girl’ is. “Is it a real trend, an ironic trend, or an anti-trend?” said Dr. Frederic Hoffman. “There’s no way of knowing, so don’t waste your precious brain juice on it.” When asked to give her […]
Baby curious about exhausted couple that remove her from creche every night before bed
SANDWEILER — A local nine-month-old has expressed a strong desire to know more about the visibly fatigued couple who remove her from the creche every night just before bedtime. “Usually it’s the woman who takes me, but occasionally it’s the man, and they never come at the same time,” the baby said through an interpreter. […]
Exhausted parents demand immediate end to summer holidays
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Chanting “eight weeks of summer holidays is seven weeks too long,” hundreds of local parents took to the streets on Wednesday to demand that schools immediately reopen and “take back these sticky-faced parasites before we all go insane.” Bettembourg father Dag Linwood, 39, says he’s gone through a whole summer’s worth of activities […]