Life is great! Have you ever woken up, looked outside and noticed that your car was stolen, your neighbor’s dog is pissing in your garden, and that the sky is grey, but still said to yourself: life is great! I know, I know. It’s the end of the summer and we’re supposed to be feeling […]
Place d’Armes orchestra ‘amazing,’ say toddlers dancing in front of stage
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A municipal orchestra that played in Place d’Armes last weekend was “amazing,” according to a group of toddlers whose parents allowed them to dance in front of the stage. “This is the best show I’ve seen since Maman took me to see [French children’s singer] Chantal [Goya],” said two-year-old Luc Barraud, who for […]
Children’s birthday parties mostly an excuse for parents to get drunk in middle of day
The majority of children’s birthday parties held in Luxembourg are nothing but an excuse for parents to excessively drink in the middle of the day, according to recent findings. A report published by the University of Wiltz claims that 84 percent of parents in the Grand Duchy say they would never organize or accept an […]
‘Desire for emojis’ turns Luxembourg 9-year-old into vicious crime boss
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Using lies, threats, and old-fashioned schoolyard taunts, a local child amassed so many Cactus emojis that she is now considered to be the country’s number one crime boss. Nine-year-old Sophie Goergen became the subject of an investigation earlier this month after reports emerged that she had illicitly obtained hundreds of the tiny figures […]
Disgusting: Luxembourg child forced to celebrate birthday at home
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A primary school pupil is recovering from serious emotional injuries after his parents attempted to host the child’s birthday party at their sad little home in Neudorf. Alerted on Saturday by a concerned neighbor, police were able to rescue the nine-year-old before the arrival of his classmates, which could have led to “catastrophic damage” […]
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