KIRCHBERG — In commemoration of Europe Day in Luxembourg, a crowd of employees from European Union institutions gathered at a document burial site to pay respect to the millions of pages of official reports that, once printed, were never read. “It’s great that we have this day to celebrate European unity, but it’s important to […]
Luxembourg to import hundreds of anarchist street punks
Responding to complaints that the country is two shades too quiet, Luxembourg officials have announced a plan to import up to 500 anarchist street punks with the aim of shaking things up. The anarchists, all between the ages of 18 to 25, will mostly be recruited from neighboring countries, but some are being sourced from […]
Luxembourg invests €50 million to mine black hole
Proving that the country is keeping its eyes on the stars, Luxembourg has announced it has invested 50 million euros in a company that plans on mining a recently photographed black hole. “Some critics say we’re just throwing money into a giant hole, but that’s the point,” said Hubert Sternmann, spokesperson for the government’s Office […]
Know-it-all expat can name prime minister
CLAUSEN — In a move that’s unsurprising because he’s a total know-it-all, according to those close to him, a local expat has impressed his friends by giving the name of Luxembourg’s prime minister. Sasha Onyeze, 34, has over the years fostered a reputation as someone who reads too much about arcane topics, and who likes […]
Luxembourg buys French region Lorraine for use as giant parking lot
Amid a collective sigh of relief from local drivers who face difficulties finding parking spots in the capital, France has agreed to sell its entire northeastern area of Lorraine to be converted into a giant lot for Luxembourg cars. The large plot will accommodate up to 10 million vehicles, says project head Fernand Braun, and […]
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