A resourceful Luxembourg resident has built a three-story house using an estimated 16 tons of incomprehensible political material that has arrived in her mailbox since the end of summer. “Pamphlet after pamphlet with names and photos of people I don’t recognize, all of them dressed up,” said Renata Apostu, 29, who has lived and worked […]
Luxembourg procrastinators union urging citizens to vote
Luxembourg’s most influential union of procrastinators is calling for its members to get out and vote in last Sunday’s elections. UPL president Marcel Bruck says that he and other members want the new government to know how sick and tired they are of everyone always telling them what time things start, and that they should […]
Belgium asks Luxembourg to take Wallonia for a few years
BRUSSELS — Saying that its entire southern region is unmotivated and has no idea what it wants to do in life, a flustered Belgium has asked its ex-spouse Luxembourg to take care of Wallonia for a few years. “It’s true, we wanted to have Wallonia live with us after the [19th century] separation, but we […]
Grand Duke fights Belgian king to retain Luxembourg
MARTELANGE — Citing a recently discovered proclamation from 1374 that confers all of Luxembourg to the Count of Flanders, Grand Duke Henri was obliged to engage in a sword battle on Tuesday to retain his dominion, according to royal observers. While most residents of the Grand Duchy went to work or school, His Royal Highness […]
Pirate Party candidate considering ironing t-shirt before public event
FRUGALANGE — A member of Luxembourg’s Pirate Party who is running for deputy in the upcoming elections has admitted to giving “serious thought” to ironing his t-shirt before appearing at an upcoming event. Lucian Welter says that while he’s been making efforts to wear his nicest t-shirts and jeans when he’s on the campaign trail, […]
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