Thousands of people in Luxembourg looked out the window this morning, saw the clear skies, and decided it was ideal weather to go outside and spread the coronavirus a little. “It would be a shame to spend the beautiful day inside, keeping our germs to ourselves,” said father Alarvo Encants, a resident of Luxembourg City. […]
‘I never signed up for this shit,’ says supermarket employee
A Luxembourg supermarket employee earning minimum wage has confirmed that when she got hired last year, no one told her she might have to sacrifice her own health and life in the line of duty. “I don’t recall signing anything saying that in case of war, I’d be given a pair of latex gloves and […]
Our partners’ 6 most annoying habits (coronavirus edition)
When we agree to move in with a romantic partner, we’re often unaware of their annoying habits, habits that are now painfully obvious – like a stick stuck in our eyes and ears. Here are the six most common. Cleaning but not the way we like it Now that they’re at home 24 hours a […]
Luxembourg expats form policing network
Hundreds of expats in Luxembourg have banded together to form a national surveillance and policing network, one they hope will keep everyone as panicked and miserable as they are. “Yes, people are permitted to shop for food or go on short walks to get some fresh air,” said Sadie Cooke, 34, one of the founders. […]
Association of Paranoiacs recommends social distancing of at least 3 km
Saying that whatever medical experts are advising for coronavirus safety is surely a criminal underestimation, the London-based Association of Paranoiacs is urging its members to stay at least three kilometers from other people. “Yes, there’s only a .0001-percent chance that if an infected person sneezes while using a hairdryer with the window open, the virus […]
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